“Critics are strewn like landmines. They ARE there; wherever you
step on!”
“Cheap, Problematic, Good for Nothing, Idiotic, Useless, Immature,
Fake, Has no Content, Gas, Sentimental, Flirt, Talks a LOT” – Some
of the adjectives that were used by people for me between my age 8 & 35.
And by a total of some 200 people spread across those years. If I were to have
let my FORCE die down because of those few hundred who had no idea why I did
what I did; – I would not have MET the next lot of million people who have
today made me who I am by believing in my ways of life! Handling criticism is a
necessary skill – because you will find critics everywhere; home, office and
even bedroom
Let me try and put this in business style. Besides being a
Motivational Speaker & Corporate Trainer; I also am a Journalist and a
Child Counselor . If 100 people object to something that I write and say in
my Training Session– then I make sure that a 1000 feel good about it and a 100
benefit out of it. It is pure business with calculated risks and returns.
Besides, who could make everyone happy in life? Even prophets who walked this
earth could not. I am a mere mortal human being. If I were to actually try to
make everyone happy – I would get exhausted doing that & will never ever
have time to do things that make me happy. I would become so very boring too
which I choose not to be- in my only life.
You see, we are a Condemn Nation –
always ready to Condemn at the drop of a hat. We love controversies. If there
isn’t one, we create one! Does it not happen like this that whenever we are
driving; the person who drives faster than us is a maniac and the one who is
slow is boring. We just love destructive criticism. Since we are the doers, we
should also learn how to be sporty receivers i.e. master the art of handling
criticism positively.
Because the
philosophy “ I HAVE TO REACH MY GOAL, I DON’T BOTHER WHAT OTHER’S SAY” has
worked for me in last 20 yrs and I choose to keep on letting it work further.
See it is
simple – ‘If you have a reasonable amount of competence in any field; you
become vulnerable to criticism. In fact, if in the recent past- if you have not
faced criticism; maybe you are playing your life game too securely and
boringly’. The cute thing about ‘Criticism’ is that it will happen the other
way around too i.e. even if you do not demonstrate a skill set – you’ll be
criticized for not having the same. The sooner you learn how to deal with your
critics, the better off you will be.
These critics are strewn like landmines. They ARE there; wherever
you step on. Normally what criticism does to us is that it precipitates
the unwanted Brownian movement of our thoughts. At times the problem might
become severe and it may lead to a ‘Though Attack’
The only
thing you need to worry about is your own ‘things to do’. That’s a much more
productive use of your time. You can’t spend your life worrying about the petty
feelings of others. It’s actually a compliment to be mocked for being
different. They never pick on the mediocre! People will throw lit matchsticks
at you. It is up to you whether you want to catch fire or not. If people are
talking behind your back – it simply means – ‘You are ahead of them’. That’s a
good thing right?
Have you ever thought why destructive criticism happens so often?
I think, the
actual reason 90% of the criticism you see around is destructive because a lot
of people think – ‘how could he be in limelight and not me’! People like to
bring up your past, when your present and future look better than theirs. Don’t
worry about such people. I have started finding them cute with time and have
developed an eye to spot them early. All I do is to seriously avoid them. Be it
neighbour’s, relatives or old classmates or colleagues.
The higher
we soar, the smaller we appear to people below. We discuss people; maybe
because we just cannot be HEROES ourselves – so we find villains around.
Remember – A
young person’s life has two broad chapters; One when people laugh at him for
his over enthusiasm, zeal, newness, innovation, determination and the second when people admire him for the same reasons.
So! Don’t let your enthusiasm get diffused; the second stage is coming soon. It
comes to different people at different times. You just need to hang on to your
right ideas and beliefs. Handling criticism at work or in life should be done
positively and gracefully – and the best way to do that is to “KEEP DOING”.
One day you
too shall see more worlds and then criticize / mock those who are lesser
exposed. So why feel bad when someone does the same to you? Believe in
journeying the world more and progressing more to become ‘competent’ more to
handle ‘criticism’ well.
“You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can’t
do something themselves, they want to tell you that you can’t do it. You want
something? Go get it.”
Today –
subtract everything that lowers your confidence. Take your lessons but do not
let your confidence get lowered. You are special. You are different. People
want to pull you down to their levels because you are not like them. And when
you become like them – it would be so boring.
The best way to shut
your critics up is to become super awesome in your own life. And get so far
ahead in life that they find it difficult to chase you then. That would be ONE
CUTE REVENGE. Take it
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