Moulding a child, concerns all
parents. We are constantly doing something or other to make our child do better
in studies, inculcate better discipline, excel in sports, learn social
interaction and various other aspects depending on our own vision and capabilities.
Whether we aware of it or not we are constantly shaping our child as moulding
is an integral part of parenting. Parenting basically has to do with training,
disciplining, moulding and at times forcing children to live as parents
dictate. Forcing a child to adapt to what we think is right or what we feel the
child should be doing is forceful parenting. Forceful parenting often does more
damage to our children than it does good. It can demolish self-confidence and
destroy imagination.
We should strive to ensure that our
children learn to experience and express themselves as free human beings.
Now-a-days we have parents who, even before the child is completed one year,
decide to turn them into another Sachin or Aishwarya. Most of the problems with
adolescents can be traced back to an early age when they learned they were to
just follow orders.
Children who have to comply rigidly
with what is expected of them, develop neither own vision nor accountability.
When not nurtured, their God given lights dim and they just follow their peers
or the heroes that are fed to them by the entertainment media.
Some parents, on the other hand, are
proud that their children are quiet and polite and that they have done their
job very well. They don’t realize that child is not just quiet but complacent.
These children behave this way because they have stopped to think.
What exactly is moulding?
Guiding your child to achieve his/
her true potential is good parenting. Real moulding is when your child already
has some abnormal behaviour that is either against the norms of society or is
affecting his overall growth and development and you correct that.
The question that bothers most
parents is: "What is more important: to shower a child with love and let
the nature take its course or to provide intellectual stimulation?" The
latest theory maintains that the one complements the other. In the past, it was
thought that love could develop a child and compensate for lack of intellectual
stimulation, today it is clear that to develop a child´s mind and mould his
personality mental stimulation initiated by the parents is decisive, without
which, the normal emotional and social development of a child can be lacking.
Leading luminaries in child
psychotherapy vests the parents with the bulk of the responsibility for the
successful development of their children. Ideally, parents should rouse their
curiosity by pumping them full of information. When they grow up, they feel
free to ask questions about all kinds of things in their environment as their
curiosity would have been developed to a keen edge. This is the ideal
combination for the development of intelligence: stability, confidence and
realization of a child's potential from age zero by broadening his horizons.
Parents directly influence their
child's development and behaviour. They must be aware of this.
The ancient controversy of heredity
versus environment has long ago been resolved. Although heredity has a dominant
role, but the importance of intellectual stimulation and environmental support
cannot be ignored.
In an attempt to mould the child, most parents
push their children beyond their capacity.
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